INSTRUCTIONS FOR SITTING LIKE A LADY

1) Move cushions to suit your own design

2) Cross your legs unless they are properly covered by the cushions

3) Use one of a kind hand made pillow to catch any drool

4) If you are comfortable, resist any effort by others to move you

And This Bitter Tidbit from my Frienemey, Baby Doll:

Dear Sadie,

I've been reading your blogs and you think being a Princess is so great, WELL! I am a Queen. My Queendom is a little house in the 'hood, but Queen outranks a princess never the less!!!! I will send you a picture of me out galavanting with Hillary Clinton too!!! We have many things in common as you will see (Hillary and I, NOT you and I!). I will be contacting you soon!

Baby Doll

Sadie says:

No comment, Tart!

More from the Mailbag:

Dear Sadie, We are big fans of yours and read your blog every chance we get. We think you are one of the lovliest ladies in all of Omaha (and we go to the dog park alot). We are sending some pictures. One of us wrestling on our bed (we know wreslting is probably beneath you) and another of us lounging waiting for our dinner. Why are the humans so slow in preparing our meals, and then half the time they aren't even warm enough. We hope you have enjoyed your summer by the pool. We are looking forward to fall when the weather is cooler and we can be taken for more rides. We are free spirits and love to feel the wind in our noses. Thanks for your blog and your advice on how to deal with the people. Two of your Biggest fans, Gus and Hauss Dear Gus & Hauss, You are two big strapping fellas, and you are too too kind! While I do not participate in wrestling, I have been known to spectate. Regarding the preparation of our meals, I insist my staff eat some of my dinner first--in case, anyone drops dead from poisoning. You can never be too safe if you are royalty. Princess Sadie

from Sadie's Mailbag

Dear Sadie,

I need your advice. I'm being held hostage in a God forsaken place called Millard, Nebraska. Every time I try climbing the wall to escape, the person squeals at me in the harshest tone, " Maxie get away from there!" If that isn't bad enough, when she is trying to get my attention, she refers to me as "Maxie Doodles". I don't know how much longer I can take this verbal abuse. Yesterday, I made a break for it, and the next thing I know she is chasing me down the street in her pajamas, yelling, "Maxie, cookies....cookies". Please, do you any ideas concerning the training of an old woman?

Sincerely,
Prince Max
Land of the Vikings

Dear Max,

My human pets are also morons. I simply accept them as quirky companions meant for my amusement (and also to wait on me hand and foot).

Princess Sadie